1. |
I Almost Had It
04:56
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Oh its going
It's going somewhere
Oh its starting
I’m not prepared
Leave it hanging
Flailing in the air
And I’m dying
Just a little bit
Spend a lifetime
Getting over it
Sailing slowly
But it comes quick
Its all consuming
Habits discrete
And I’m pulling
But can’t make those ends meet
We’re all recovering
From our situation
I’m pulling back sheets
Nearing release
I’ll soon regret it
The minutes wasted
Filled with violence
It’s all reflected
No you can’t get in
Can’t see me, wont see me
Can’t have a friend in
The waters in red
Its not that simple
It never is
Its getting heavy
I inhale deeply
These things will kill me
Didn’t even want it
Swallow forcefully
Put it on my body
It’s so easy
You finally got me
I’m always guilty
I almost had it
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2. |
Settle
03:21
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Maybe I could have made this even
But overnight it seems to turn out less
Consider images I’m looking
Push down further into nothing
Spend most of daylight in these boxes
If I’m lucky in one is where my body meet’s its end
In this one I hold myself hostage
Sinking futher into degeneration
And that really should be good enough
Never really is good enough
For someone else it might be good enough
I watch those creatures fly in circles
Filling the meekness with a life dulled
For the golden gates that you weren’t chosen
You belong in the wrong genderation
And what happens when its not good enough
It will never be good enough
I’ll be sure to blow this out of proportion
I’ll be sure to blow it
But its hard to make it above
When being pulled down by sharp claws
I’ve fallen out of love
With all of these living objects
What have you done for me
Just this once I wanted to be great
Just try to take it from me
Holding on might be my best mistake
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3. |
Disinterest
03:01
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Feel it caving in
But it won’t all the way
What I have to give
Is halfway encouragement
All this meandering
And middling
Its very tiring
Why don’t we end this
Can I speak freely
Cause he was so pretty
Make myself lonely
Cause he was so pretty
Put it all in here
It does matter
Just take some from over there
Mental pictures
Tell me where it is
It was beautiful
Can’t get unsleepy
Cause he was so pretty
black eyes they struck me
He was so pretty
Make myself ugly
Cause he was
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4. |
My Social Currency
03:34
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Engaged
In place where its supposed to be
Incased
I’m faced with shifting decrees
Enraged
In waves, wash away the must
I’ll wait
In pain to pull out these guts
Can’t face the music now
It breathes right past you
Can you remember how
How to get us to move
Tuned in
Locked in to the brightest bulb
It's burned out
What now
You took too long
To belong its not where your supposed to be
O.K.
I’m just gonna call it a day
Can’t face the noises now
They’ll drink and smoke the rest of it
What have I really found
I lack the right story to tell
I have plenty of ineffective words to sell
Don’t stop me if you’ve heard this one before
Of course you have but that’s not what this for
What to do when you’ve run out of expressions to exclaim
Maybe the next move is to push it all away
I’ve realized the shame for broken parts unrepaired
I’ll accept the blame for the strange unrequited stares
I’ve fatigued your attention I witness glazing over it
Just stare at the apparatus waiting for it all to end
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5. |
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Now is not the time
to relax
Trading balances between the want
And the have
This gall won’t simmer or just
Slide down
It burns on its way up but
I’ll just have to spit it out
Leaves a bad taste that I never can get out
But I’m still up for it and they told me that’s what counts
Still reaching out knowing that I won’t get it back
But how to stop the world showing you what you lack?
I’m not sure and its ok
Pressing on the pedals
To the place
Will they even want you
In their space
Rely on what you found in
Poor senses
What is it this time
That you have to confess
The days they’re going fast and I watch all of them die
Don’t want to spend the rest of them waiting to die
I know there still some things that haven’t been pulled through
But how to cope when you feel you’ve done all that you can do?
I’m not sure and its ok
See me standing in the corner
Is it where I’m meant to be
You’re uncomforting, I’m uncomfortable but let’s keep going
Got this thing in me buried it shivers
Selects all these things
My existence is futile and full of unmajestic
Poses you can’t hold it hold it
Out of frame out of its flame
But I’ll keep burning
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